


Abbadon Andras Will You Please Go Now

by Dragonbat



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Action, Demons, Dick Grayson is Batman, Dr. Seuss homage, Gen, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-03
Updated: 2011-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-04 20:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1085420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonbat/pseuds/Dragonbat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Dick didn't realize exactly what trying to banish a demon would entail...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Abbadon Andras Will You Please Go Now

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Dr. Seuss challenge. Unbeta'd.

** Abbadon Andras Will You Please Go Now **

****

"Aw, jeez," Dick muttered, looking at the television set it dismay. "Seriously, isn't this more Dr. Fate's speed?"

 

Damian shrugged. "It's only a demon," he pointed out. "My grandfather is known as the Demon's _head_."

 

"I'm sure that's just a courtesy title," Dick pointed out as he watched a sheet of mystical flames pass over the birch grove in Robinson Park, reducing it to ashes in seconds. "And it doesn't make _you_ fireproof."

 

"So, you're just going to sit here and hide."

 

"I didn't say that." Dick got up and headed for the cave. "There are civilians out there. Even if I can't stop Etrigan," he called back, looking over his shoulder, "I've still got to help save... whoa." He pointed to the screen. "There are two of them?"

 

A second demon, slightly shorter and squatter was facing off against Etrigan--or was it the shorter demon who was Etrigan?

 

_"Your might's a minor mewling thing_

_Your city ripe for conquering_

_Weakened by your bond with man..._

_Fly and flee, O Etrigan!"_

With that, the shorter demon let loose a barrage of flames. Most hit the larger demon head-on, but some strayed to the buildings that surrounded the park.

 

"Well," Dick said, "that clears up which one is which."

 

"We're involving ourselves, then?" Damian suddenly looked less confident than he had a moment ago.

 

"There are still innocent people trapped in the park. As far as the battle, if I have to take sides, better the demon I know than the demon I don't. One of the Bat-mobiles has mystical wards built into the design. I hope that'll be good enough, because I don't have time to memorize the right warding symbols, just now."

 

Damian started. "You? Not... we?"

 

"I need you in the cave, researching everything you can find on demons."

 

"Apparently they're inferior poets."

 

"Everything useful."

 

"Tt..."

 

 

He had almost reached the park, when Damian radioed from the cave. "Apparently," the boy said smugly, "poetry _is_ somewhat useful. It seems that with the proper rhymes..."

 

As Dick listened, his jaw dropped. "You have got to be kidding me."

 

"I'm being perfectly serious, Gray--Batman. I'm sending the name of the demon directly to the car computer. Do not speak it at an improper time."

 

"But I..." He had no choice. "Okay... Thanks Damian." If he had to, then he had to... but poetry had never been his strongest point. Why couldn't it have been puns?

 

 

It was time. Batman took a deep breath and activated the Batmobile's loudspeaker system. He only hoped that he'd taken the right car, or things were about to turn really bad, really fast.

 

"Abbadon Andras!" he bellowed, "Will you please go now!

 

_"The time has come_

_The time has come_

_The time is now_

_Just go._

_Go._

_Go!_

_I don't care how_

_You can go by ship_

_You can go by scow_

_Abbadon Andras will you please go Now!_

_You can go by rug_

_You can go by mat_

_You can go by smoke_

_You can go on a cat_

_But please go, please!_

_I don't care_

_You can go by bike_

_You can go on a dirt-bike if you like_

_If you like, you can go by broom or floo_

_Just go, go, GO!_

_Please, do, do, Do!"_

A terrible expression appeared on the demon's face as it tried to twist away. It hung suspended in mid-air, unable to get out of range of the voice echoing over the speakers. 

 

Dick kept on.

_"Abbadon Andras_

_I don't care how._

_Abbadon Andras_

_Will you please_

_GO NOW!_

_You can go on stilts_

_You can go by fish_

_You can open a portal_

_If you wish._

_If you wish,_

_You may apparate to Hell_

_Or stamp yourself and go by mail."_

Okay, that last one almost had to be recited in a Southern accent to rhyme, but he couldn't remember the original. It didn't seem to matter, going by the way the demon was shrieking as a fissure seemed to open in the sky above it.

 

_"Abbadon Andras_

_Don't you know?_

_The time has come_

_To go, go, GO!_

_Get on your way!_

_Please Abbadon!_

_You might like going in a zeppelin_

_You can go by moose_

_Or... violin_ "

 

He winced. Well, the sound-box _was_ hollow.

 

" _You can go by Delorean_

_In a trunk_

_You can go by bumble-bee, I bet_

_I don't care how you go. Just get!"_

The fissure widened, and began to pull the hapless demon through, as Dick continued.

 

_"Abbadon Andras!_

_I don't care how._

_Abbadon Andras_

_Will you please_

_GO NOW!"_

The demon whimpered and stretched out a hand in mute supplication, but Dick knew that if he stopped now, he'd need to start again from the beginning. And he was so close! He took a deep breath, and said with quiet menace,

_"I said_

_GO_

_And_

_GO_

_I meant..._

_The time has come_

_So..."_

Abbadon went!

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Dick's 'spell' is adapted from Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now!, by Dr. Seuss (Random House, 1972).


End file.
